What’s up with that? I don’t mean the @#$%& gesture, I mean having your mouth titillated and taunted by somebody’s finger as if it were some sort of phallic symbol during intercourse. Being a popular independent escort in London for 3years, I have been given the finger on many occasions and felt compelled to suck it longingly for fear of appearing disinterested but my curiosity is killing me…… When did this item land on the foreplay shortlist and how come I never got the memo?

A gentleman came to visit me the other day and made the same complaint. He had a girlfriend who did nothing during sex but lie flat on her back and foreplay constituted putting her finger in his mouth. He was befuddled and frankly so was I but I know he speaks the truth because on many occasion, I too have been offered the finger and am at a bit of a loss as to why this should be such a turn on for me?

There is a certain way to do things to make them sexy. I’m a strong believer that foreplay should flow and clumsiness can really mess up a good scene. I have generously been offered a taste of myself by means of a gratuitous finger and this I can completely relate to as I do entirely approve of the flavour of my own pussy. But nowadays the finger just seems to come out of nowhere for no justifiable reason. Without introduction, I just see this finger coming towards my face. It’s not sexy. It’s not even a build-up or preamble to being sexy. I understand that it is a suggestive move that implies sex is on the way but if you are lying on the bed butt naked, I think it’s fairly safe to assume that sex would be a natural next progression.

Ask yourself this, when is it appropriate to stick out your finger? Let’s say you are out on a date. You could casually comment on your dessert and then seductively pass your finger over to her for a taste. If she takes the whole finger into her mouth this implies that your spade work is about to pay off. If not, back to the drawing board. It’s a subtle gesture that was originally devised to convey an indirect message that could be answered in a discrete and understated way where conventional conversation would simply not suffice or possibly create an embarrassing situation. Once you have passed first base, the time for subtle messaging has passed, you have already received the invite.

Am I the only person who feels this way? I would sincerely appreciate some feedback here from other people who offer or have had the pleasure of being the beneficiary of the benevolent finger. Perhaps we can have a debate about this? I understand that it’s a controversial topic and people may not want to discuss the uncomfortable reality of finger licking so I thought I would mention it here on my blog where it can be discussed in relative anonymity. We can call it finger lickers anonymous, or start a support group for recovering victims of the unwelcome finger.